It is less than 24 hours before the doors of the TIU Theater in Makati Square opens and the long-awaited idol event of the year for Filipino wotas will finally get going. The 4-hour event promises to be full of amazing performances by such groups as Ivy Musume, Twinkle, Pastel Mix, Seishun Kakumei, Aidoru Sozai and MNL48.
But before all that, let’s pick up where we left off. When I finished writing Part II, my plan was to write about CH4U’s other members. I wanted to end this three-part feature to ultimately be about the group and the things I learned from following them. Little did I know that my plans will be turned upside down by some bad news that had me worried.
August 19, 2018, Sunday. It was the first general rehearsal of Manila Idol Matsuri with all of the hitherto announced participants. It will be the first time all of the groups will be together. I spent that day sleeping and playing video games and not even thinking about the rehearsal that it was late when I heard the news.
CH4U had a terrible rehearsal. Or so I was told. The following is Uriko’s own account of what happened:
“August 19, 2018
Rehearsal sa MiM, that day kinakabahan ako para sakin at para sa group. Kahit na rehearsal palang to natatakot ako na bumaba self esteem ng members ko kasi di sila makakapagperform. Kasi wala pa kaming practice na polish. Dahil sa madaming gawain sa school, extra curricular activities at maraming pang iba na maaring maghadlang para samin mag practice.
Dumating kami ni Sunny sa MiM ng mas maaga kila Eru at Kimhui ng (ilang) minuto. Hinintay namin sila sa labas ng gate ng MiM at nag picture picture. Tawa lang kami ng tawa kasi nagmumukha kaming fan that moment. Nung dumating na sila Eru and Kimhui, sabay sabay na kami pumasok, napa amaze kami sa ganda ng Theatre, dumiretso kami sa dressing room dahil sabi ko need namin mag practice kasi for sure na wala sa isipan nila yung nirerehears namin nung nakaraan. Polish Polish ang ginawa namin habang ang ibang performer ay nasa stage, kami ay nasa baba ng stage nag practice di alintana ung malakas na tugtog at malakas na yabag ng paa mula sa itaas. Kasi gusto namin makapag practice kahit sandali lang. Then tinawag na kami, umakyat na kami upang mag rehearsal.
Pagkatapos ng turn namin nasa isip ng mga members ay nakakahiya kasi ang dami naming mali, di sabay sabay kaya ayun na frustate ang ibang members. Kaya sinabihan ko sila mag rehears kami ulit sa dressing room. Nagpaalaam ako at bumaba na kami. Nag rehears kami at na polish ang 3 kanta na iperform namin sa MiM. Masaya kaming umuwi dahil naayos namin yung pagkakamali namin nung rehearsal sa MiM.”
(August 19, 2018. It is rehearsal day for MiM. I am feeling quite anxious for me and for the group. Even though this is just a rehearsal, I am quite scared that my members’ self-esteem will suffer because they haven’t performed much lately. Add to that the fact that we haven’t had much chance to practice and polish our routine because of our many responsibilities in school, extra-curricular activities, and other stuff that got in the way of having a proper practice.
Sunny and I came to MiM (meaning the event venue) quite earlier than Eru and Kimhui. We waited for them outside of the venue gate and took some pitcutes. We were having fun because we looked just like fans at that moment. We entered the Theatre once Eru and Kimhui came and we were amazed at how beautiful it is. We went straight to the dressing room because I thought we need to practice because for sure the members have already forgotten them. We tried to polish our stuff while the other performers are taking their turn on the stage. We were were trying to practice despite the loud noise. We wanted to practice even for a short while, until they called us to the stage.
After our turn, the members were embarrassed at our many mistakes and quality of our dancing which really frustrated them. That’s why I told them that we will rehearse again in the dressing room. I asked for permission and we went down. We rehearsed and polished the 3 songs that we will perform in MiM. We went home happy because we were able to correct our mistakes during the rehearsal.)
Truth be told, I never had any illusions about the level of their performance because as a group, they’re as green as you could go. I knew on the onset that this group does not have the experience of the others, or does not have their resources. In my coverage of MNL48, I once cautioned against treating the job as something like an after-school club where you gather, hang out, have fun, and then do some “practice”. CH4U is exactly that kind of a group and it was starting to work against them.
But it is quite inspiring to see these young girls not giving up. It is easy to give up in these circumstances, especially since the stakes just went higher now that MNL48 has confirmed to be joining the event. CH4U had several more rehearsals after that date.
“August 21, 2018
Since Holiday kaya naisipan namin mag rehearsal at duon na nalinis lahat ng steps, yung apat naming kanta ay napolish na sa steps kaso ngalang sa aming last songs di pa naayos ang formation dahil nga sa kulang sa oras parin.
Aug 25, 2018
Nag rehears kami ulit kaso wala si Kimhui dahil meron syang group project na kailangan na kailangan tapusin at sya rin gumawa ng formation para sa huling kanta, dahil sa ganun nilinis namin ang formation and steps sa 3 kanta at kinabisado ang magiging flow para sa MiM. Naging sulit ang mga oras dahil naging malinis at kabisado na namin ang performance namin para sa MiM.”
(August 21, 2018. Since it was holiday, we decided to rehearse and clean up all our steps. We tried polishing the dance steps for our 4 (?) songs but we haven’t finished cleaning up the formation for the last ones due to lack of time.
August 25, 2018. We rehearsed again but without Kimhui who has a group project that she needed to finish despite her being the one who created the formation for our last song. Because of that, we just ried cleaning up the formation and steps for the other 3 songs and tried to memorize the flow for MiM. We felt that this practice was worth it because we were able to clean up our act and we’ve memorized the performance for MiM.)
If we’re going to go back to how Uriko said it, it all seemed so easy with nary a hint of trouble. But I knew that Uriko was worried, at least, especially with a major idol group now part of the line-up. No one among the participating groups would want to be known as “the one that screw up”. The others seem to be running at full steam (my source said Aidoru Sozai, in particular, was in fine form during the rehearsals), is CH4U running on fumes? Or am I just too worried not to see how positive their leader seemed?
Maybe, I’m just worrying too much, and attach too much importance to their success in the event. Maybe I should just relax and let them do their thing and not worry about what might happen in the future.
But I can’t help feeling concerned for these girls, not when I had a small glimpse of the world of struggling independent idols. When you dip into the sea of J-idols and had your fun, it is hard to get out, especially when you’ve seen them up-close and saw for yourself their human side, for better or for worse.
It is often very easy to compartmentalize their human side, thrust as they are into the stage and public eye. It is all too easy to trivialize their needs and anxieties because we only see that which we are supposed to see….. or what we expect to see. It is easy to get lost in the world of make-believe because it makes us forget our problems, but often at the cost of blurring the line between reality and fantasy. When you see these idols break down and cry, when you see their masks fall off, and when you realize that they don’t – and won’t – meet all your expectations no matter how accessible you think they are, it is when you realize that they are special because they have decided to do what no average human being – let alone a teenager – is expected to do: smile through it all and make you feel that everything is fine.
I think that’s what makes idols so special to so many fans. They represent a happy, positive side to life that people crave to be in. This is what sets them apart from the other artists I have followed. For me they are not virtual girlfriends but a source of comfort and stability – however brief – in this harsh world. True idol appreciation is the acknowledgement of their failings even as we hold them to a higher standard. I never was too big on idols being “pure” but that of an ideal role model.
I came out of this experience with a deeper appreciation of whatever it is that motivates these girls into going against all odds and fulfill their dreams. By choosing to see the road to the Manila Idol Matsuri through the experiences of Uriko and CH4U, my perspective of idols had been enriched and allowed me to place some events in the fandom in proper context. It has not made me a convert into the deeper levels of the fandom where these groups and their fans technically live, but I don’t think I really needed to be. I don’t need to be a “true fan” to pay for the ticket and enjoy the show, I just need to go there and have fun.
And thus, the road to the Manila Idol Matsuri ends tomorrow, Sunday, September 2, 2018. A day when most J-idol cover groups, independently produced idols, two professional groups one of whom is a member of the 48 Groups, get together to perform for the fans. Will this be the jump-start that the local idol market needs? Will it be the start of something bigger? We’ll find out after the event. For now let’s relax and just enjoy the show.
1 Comment
I feel like i wanna see a followup on how this group is doing now.