It’s been a long time coming. I can’t believe it took me almost a month for me to actually post anything about Skyrim. It has sucked my soul hard enough, you see.
So before I change my mind and go back to playing Skyrim, let me post some screenshots.
First: this thing with size.
I was looking at the pie the whole time.
Would you like to Talk to Susanna’s boobs?
Second: this thing with horses.
Don’t you just love the jump/mountain scaling glitch?
I’ve always wondered what happens to you and your companion when you “fast travel.” Like, did you and your companion fight? Did your horse throw you off? When you fast travel you just get to see what happens after. This is one of those moments. I was greeted by Shadowmere’s magnificent ass. Make of that what you will.
Third: what wonderful ways to die.
The first real challenge I faced in the game were the Glenmoril Witches. I was still super green and their destruction spells SLAY me. When this happened, you can bet your ass I pumped my fists in the air yelling YEAH! YEAH! BITCH!
When I’m slaying a dragon, my full focus is on the legendary beast. I had no idea this woman was around. So when the dust cleared, I saw her dead. I got the key to her house without breaking the law. Everyone wins.
Look at this piece of work. I don’t even know how she was able to use her right hand to strike her long sword through her own RIGHT shoulder. Talent!
This happened in Markarth. When that dude creeped up behind her and suddenly stabbed her in broad daylight. Hm, I’m thinking of writing a separate post for that because that was pretty emotional for me. If you’re wondering why she’s naked in this photo, well… I guess someone took all of her stuff after she’s dead.
Lastly… my most important kill:
This is actually pretty sad. You’d think that a person of such high esteem and importance will die a little bit more elegantly. Don’t blame me, he posed like that right after I stuck my dagger and blade in his throat.