Three Reasons Why You SHOULDN’T Date a MALE Gamer

When a certain person passes ill Judgment upon a gamer, you are pretty sure a dire storm will stir and it will make landfall to wreck havoc.

When bloodthirsty gamers are provoked by a very scathing statement, you are pretty sure Planar Chaos will ensue.

Enough of the Magic: The Gathering puns.

About a year ago, you read in this blog some neat, valid and quirky reasons to date a female (in this case, a video) gamer. That’s all fine and dandy, even cute. But there are just some, or should I say, a lot of people who just can’t see themselves hanging out or dating with a ‘gamer’. 29 August, Gizmodo writer Alyssa Bereznak posted an article about her online encounter with a certain guy who goes by the name Jon Finkel. To make the long story short, Alyssa tried her luck with OkCupid, a popular dating site. She felt harassed that a lot of men who sent her messages are jerks, except for this one well-mannered guy nicknamed Jon. She set up a date with him and found out that Mr. Finkel was once a Magic: The Gathering World Champion. This, and along with some other reasons, she implied that dating ‘gamers’ is a ‘bad thing’ and demanded that SNS users fill out every field in their profiles, also advising them to Google their prospective date before considering them as potential partners.

Gentlemen of Video Gaming, isn’t this familiar? Why yes, that’s prejudice which our kind receive from those who seemingly have social habits deemed as acceptable by society. Gaming, be it computer games or traditional games, are deemed by most as a childish, immature endeavor. For some reason, ‘normal’ people just can’t take people who plays games seriously. Even with the rise of casual, social and mobile gaming, we, those are really passionate about games, are shunned and cast away by the majority. Even though this generation focuses on catering to the not-so-hardcore crowd.

They. Just. Don’t. Get. It.

According to Bereznak, there are three reasons why a woman shouldn’t date a ‘gamer’:

1. The said male has interests different from the usual.

When Bereznak said:

At dinner I got straight down to it. Did he still play? “Yes.” Strike one.

— it’s like she said it is unhealthy for a man to indulge in hobbies and other activities and indulge in it for a long time. Bereznak probably thinks that games are for kids, like most people do. A grown man shouldn’t be playing card games. A grown man shouldn’t be buying plastic figurines of cute anime girls. A grown man shouldn’t be building his own mini-railroad inside the house.

2. The said male spends time on this bizarre interest.

How often? “I’m preparing for a tournament this weekend.” Strike two.

Here, she is implying that a ‘normal’ man shouldn’t spend an ample amount of his time playing with his toys, but instead use his time in other more acceptable endeavors. Or, he shouldn’t be playing with toys at all! A ‘normal’ man should be engaged in mixed martial arts. Gym. Basketball. Partying. Working his ass off to please a woman, probably. I dunno. For the likes of her, time well-spent is time spent doing the things everybody is doing — things that turn her on and make her want to drop her pants. A real man shouldn’t be flicking cards on his free time. A real man wouldn’t waste a jiffy on grinding his Elin up to Lv 90. A real wouldn’t be playing tabletop RPGs during his day off.

3. The said male has friends who share the same bizarre interest.

Who did he hang out with? “I’ve met all my best friends through Magic.” Strike three.

Now, she advises women that they shouldn’t associate themselves with a bunch of smelly nerds flicking cards, mashing buttons or rolling dice. She implies that gamers are ‘total losers’ and games as ‘loser activities’. She thinks that men associated with much more ‘exciting’ A favorable man shouldn’t be playing StarCraft II with his friends. A favorable man will not engage in Marvel vs. Capcom 3 or Arcana Heart 3 Ranked Battles. A favorable man would not play that weekly Dungeons & Dragons  and Warhammer game.

These kinds of people are usually those who have little to no understanding of the said hobby and because it is something alien to them, they reject it like the Fist of the North Star and start imposing the norms the society we live in established. It’s really sad that there are people who overlook the supposedly acceptable things a person has or does and then nitpick on the shallowest of things. An acceptable person by society’s eyes is someone who conforms to norms — has a job, a significant other, friends who do ‘normal’ stuff, the ideal example of the gender he represents. Someone who is all of the aforementioned but also has weird hobbies like traditional or video games is a geek by default. It seems it doesn’t matter if you own a business or a member of team of competitive employees working for a high-profile firm, so long as you push through ‘improper’ endeavors, you will be shunned. What’s wrong in playing games anyway, that it removes you of the privileges of a well-adjusted, socially-functioning person? It is like a gamer is already branded a failure even before he begins introducing himself. Also, people don’t need to fill out every field of information in his SNS profile. There are things that are left unsaid or unwritten. It’s not wrong to keep sensitive information about yourself in an SNS.

Gamers are often stereotyped as fat, retarded, poor, smelly no-lives who spend their whole days playing video games, card games, tabletops, etc. The stereotype is pretty much far from the truth.

Traditional and video gaming is an expensive hobby, and having no job to support it is just plain ridiculous, even if you pirate games. Many gamers are well-groomed, well-adjusted and socially-functioning members of society. Many hold important positions in their respective companies and excel in their respective fields. Most are rather sociable and sound individuals. A lot of gamers are talented in a certain art too. Some are married and have kids, living the happy family life. There is just no way that a person’s interest will define what kind of individual he is. Nobody can just play the Geek card on anyone just because that person is involved in gaming. It is just funny that even though the disclaimer at the of the article sounded polite, the article went on full of prejudice against a subculture that is alien to the author. Sure, ‘One person’s Magic is another person’s fingernail biting‘ but the author didn’t endorse the idea. Nope. Probably it is much better and safer to say that the author didn’t intend to speak ill of a group of people but she did anyway because she felt her voice regarding the matter has to be heard, even though there are people who will react negatively regarding the matter. If that’s not insensitivity and bad taste, I dunno what is.

One thing is for sure in the middle of this brouhaha:

Bereznak doesn’t want his man to have his own fun.